By Adam Roche
Egad! As if the first movie wasn’t atrocious enough, Geoff Schaff, a “producer” with seemingly gluttonous appetite for condemnation has gone ahead with ‘Showgirls: The Return’, and you can see the trailer right here. I insist you watch it, as to be completely honest, you wouldn’t believe me if I tried to tell you how Vinegar-In-The-Eyes-Painful it truly is.
Before you do though, please accept a smidgen of a warning. It’s strictly Not Safe For Work, featuring a writhing, naked girl crawling from a bath, and not leaving much to the imagination in her attempts to mimic the movement of the Lesser Spotted Bathroom Floor Slug. It also features her ‘Murder By Dumbbell’, both referring to the instrument used, and to the Jedward wannabe who carries out the crime (mostly against acting).
There’s neon! There’s a hotel! There’s a grainy shot of Vegas! There’s Sapphic coupling! There’s… a pair of eyes…?
In fact I dare you to watch it. It might, just might, outstrip the original in sheer, crapulent lunacy!
Geoff Schaff, one gets the feeling you may not see that money again…
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